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Destined for Motherhood: A Story of Adoption and Surrogacy

Mar 7, 2019

There is nothing more beautiful than life.

That sentiment echoes throughout the episode and resonates from the experiences that Dr. Claire had through the adoption and birth of her daughters Ruby and Hazel.

For, no matter how stressful and financially involved the process, the rewards transcend the effort put forth when adopting.

But Dr. Claire’s story is not only a strong endorsement for adoption but also for surrogacy.

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Because of how lengthy and involved the adoption process is, Dr. Claire decided to take matters into her own hands while she was waiting to be matched through a domestic infant adoption. She talked to her cousin Lindsey, who agreed to have one of Dr. Claire’s embryos implanted and to deliver Hazel through surrogacy.

Previously Dr.Claire had been unsuccessful with IVF treatments so she had embryos available. Despite doctors urging her to continue trying herself, she decided to go with her cousin Lindsey.

But surrogacy has its challenges as well. There is a lot of blood work to do, hormones to  take, and background checks, all culminating in a 6-week process--all of which Lindsey (the surrogate) had to drive the daily 3 ½ hours to make.

And also, Dr. Claire explains that to add to the laboratory work and hormone treatments, the psychological toll can be burdensome for the surrogate mother giving birth. 

Grief can be a very real result from a biological perspective. Any surrogate, even if it’s your cousin--like Lindsey was for Dr. Claire--will go through the inevitable separation anxiety and grief that accompanies parting with a child after months of being very literally attached.

Yet, as should always be stressed, these transient discomforts are mere moments in the grand scheme. The most important facet of the process is that life that has been brought into the world that will be cherished unconditionally. 

Briefly below, some important considerations provided in this episode will be highlighted regarding surrogacy and adoption.

 

Some Adoption Tips

Ruby was born first, so let’s start with her as we discuss Dr. Claire’s journey to motherhood!

While Dr. Claire was in the matching process for adoption, she was nervous to meet the biological mother. That’s only natural. First impressions are everything!

But as host April clarified from stories she has heard in the past, often most  birth mothers choose their adoptive families based on details that are far from obvious.

April says that she heard a guest say they were selected because they owned a golden retriever. And for Dr. Claire, after she asked what the difference maker was, it was because she had listed that her best friend was her sister. 

So simply put, be yourself when filling out your information. Remember that it is out of your power for the most part in the  matching process. 

And keep in mind that Dr. Claire went through an agency that dealt with multiple states. When adopting, it’s occasionally a good idea to look for a multi-state adoption agency. This could increase your chances of being matched because you will be presented to birth parents in other states.

 

For Those Considering Surrogacy

As Dr. Claire shockingly announces to listeners in this episode...well...it is a very expensive endeavor to undertake. 

She states that the overall process had a six-figure price tag. In Dr. Claire’s case, this sum of money stemmed from Lindsey’s medical needs: the hormones, shots, and various other lab work included.

In addition, a contributing factor to the cost was that Claire and her husband not only paid for Lindsey’s medical needs while she was pregnant, but they paid out-of-pocket for her delivery as well.

But after all is said and done, no matter the price, children are added to a family in so many different ways. 

We understand just how difficult it is to wait. We want to encourage you that not matter your path, we believe your child is coming. Dr. Claire is a beautiful story of a woman longing to become a mother and within a year she brought home two babies!! There’s no price too steep for the blessing of life. This episode reminds us all to not give up.

 

Check Out The Episode!

This is really only a small portion of everything discussed in this talk with Dr.  Claire. You can expect to learn about the benefits of open adoption, Dr. Claire’s professional work in the adoption realm, the dynamics of transracial adoption, why an agency that works with multiple states is so important, how to do your child’s hair, some of the nuances of how relationships deepen and change as a result of adoption, and much, much more in this episode chock-full of warmth and excitement. Really amazing stuff that has only been imperfectly rendered here. Listen for yourself!