Nov 15, 2018
Becky Fawcett is an adoptive mother of two children. Shocked by the high cost of adoption, she decided to do something to help other families bring home their children.
She started HelpUsAdopt.org, an equality based organization that seeks to reduce the financial burden of adoption by awarding large, life-changing, problem-solving grants. Her non-profit has given over $2.6 million away to adoptive families!
To start this interview, host April Fallon points out just how much they share in common: they both have backgrounds in media and they are both very enthusiastic about seeing changes in the adoption process!
April then asks Becky to talk about what it was like to adopt her son Jake in 2005 and her daughter Brooke in 2009.
Becky says the adoption journey was rough. She had never thought she would have trouble getting pregnant. Soon she tried IVF and was consistently pregnant, but sadly she was unsuccessful at carrying those babies to term.
And each round of IVF was very expensive, so not only was it emotionally difficult to live through, but it was financially draining as well. In addition, Becky said that she was all alone in this process. This was almost two decades ago, and adoption wasn’t as common as it is today. This meant that she had no one to talk to, no support system or help to lean on.
Becky soon came to a crossroads: she could either stay silent and accept the scariness and the unknowns of adoption, or she could be vocal to help not only herself but also those in a similar position. She chose the latter after meeting her first child Jake. In that moment, her perception changed towards adoption. The timing was right.
“I don’t go back and kick myself over all the rounds of IVF because I do know any adoptive parent will tell you that timing is everything in adoption.”
After resisting the path of adoption for so long, Becky learned how beautiful adoption could be. April says that she had a similar experience. Although April says that she had always wanted to adopt, she was still unsure if she wanted to be a mother. But when the baby came to her, it completely changed her life. Just like Jake changed Becky’s life!
April shifts gears and steers the conversation towards Becky’s first experience with sitting down with a lawyer and how this helped her launch HelpUsAdopt.org.
Becky says that HelpUsAdopt.org started in 2005 while she was on her journey to adopt Jake. She sat in her office with her lawyer, who handed her the cost estimation sheet. She had the exact amount ($40,000) in her savings account, but she soon started thinking about all of the families that wanted to adopt but couldn’t afford it. On top of that, the only organizations that existed catered to a very specific demographic. Through a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, Becky’s non-profit was born!
Becky sat down and wrote up a business plan for a non-discriminatory adoption grant program. And through, HelpUsAdopt.org, Becky helped families close the gap on adoption costs.
When asked by April what she tells the naysayers of HelpUsAdopt,org, Becky says that yes, it can be perceived as a bandaid for the larger bureaucratic issues that surround adoption, but it is definitely helping bring children home. That, in of itself, is something very special to celebrate and keep going!
April later asks her what her second adoption of Brooke was like. Becky replies and states that her first adoption with Jake was a 10-month process. On the other hand, it took two and a half years to be matched with Brooke.
Becky says that the wait for Brooke was a rough, rough journey. Despite having using a wonderful agency, she was at her wit’s end with what she describes as a horrific wait. But once she met Brooke, she knew that she was the child Becky was supposed to have.
After meeting the birth mother and being matched, Becky shares what Brooke’s delivery was like:
After Brooke’s birthmother Kelly said the doctor’s got her due date wrong, so Becky was weeks away from flying to Texas to see her born Just one day later she received a frantic call from Kelly...she was on her way to the hospital to have Brooke.
But here’s the kicker: April wanted to know how she got to Texas to be with Brooke and Kelly--it was Thanksgiving after all. Becky says that after paying the money to adopt, the only option for flying was coach plane tickets that totaled over $8,000. Distraught and unable to pay, the airline worker she explained her case to ended up finding a much cheaper option for Becky and her family (about $2,000)!
To add to this amazing story, Becky and her family were close to missing their flight because of how busy the airport was. Those working at the airport led them through the VIP entrance and guaranteed they would make the flight to Texas.
As April reminds us, this goes to show that when you adopt you bring in people from the airport, the restaurants you eat lunch at, everywhere! You need all of these people to bring your child home; they become a part of the entire adoption experience!
For more on Becky’s adoption journey and her organization HelpUsAdopt, listen along. If you need to get in touch with Becky about possible help with finalizing your adoption, fill out an application at HelpUsAdopt.org.